Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Randomize
