i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
The feeling are messing with the penis
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
