I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Randomize
