then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
Did you pee in the oven last night??
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
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