is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
