Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
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