I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
This house was built for laser tag.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
