i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
