Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
