why didn't you poke me back
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Randomize
