there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Randomize
