i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Randomize
