What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
Randomize
