idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
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