Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
