well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
