I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
