Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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