Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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