Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
