Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
