I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
Randomize
