I feel like I'm in dance class right now
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
