Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Randomize
