do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
We smell like vodka and hangover
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