I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
