U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
