life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
Randomize
