Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
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