Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
