Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
