So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Randomize
