you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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