I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
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