Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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