I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize
