You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize