I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
Randomize
