i just sent this text using only my big toe
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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