Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
