No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Randomize
