party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
how does that bad decision feel?
Randomize
