I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
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