No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Randomize
