That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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