he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
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