Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
We need a shit load of segways right now
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
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