My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
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