I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
