That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
