Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
Randomize
